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Emotions
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How are you? What do you feel? How we experience our emotions is rooted in how well we understand our emotions, and how emotions work. Emotional intelligence, as some have come to call it, includes our actual experiencing of the emotion. At times we may interchange what we think with what we feel, meaning we have expressed a thought, or judgement, based on an assessment with our mind— rather than listened to our what is happening emotionally. Often when asked how are you doing? we answer in terms of action, that is for example, oh, I'm tired and I've been pretty busy. The alternate question we can ask ourselves is what do I feel? I can feel happiness, I can feel anger. This is also one way of creating a healthy relationship between oneself from the emotion, as noted below and in part number two in the Skills section. From Glenn R. Schiraldi's “The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook” All feelings serve a protective purpose. Without fear we don't take wise precautions. Without anger some protective acts would not be initiated. If we pay attention to it, grief tells us where healing is needed. Uncomfortable feelings tell us that something is wrong so that we can take appropriate action. Even numbe feelings protect us from overwhelming emotions at first and signal a need for healing later. It is said that the difference betwen a coward and a brave person is that one acts despite fear. Feelings make life interesting. Without fully feeling, we do not fully respond to life. To shut down some feelings is to shut down others. Our goal, then, is to learn to experience and express feelings as normal, constructive, and wholesome. If we don't, we are more likely to experience intrusions, rage, bodily complaints, fatigue, and self-destruction. Relax and ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” It is normal for victims to have a tough time identifying their feelings. Realize that all feelings are valid and a normal part of life. Don't judge them. Feelings change. Tears do not last. They are expressed, and then we return to normal. The idea is to first recognize feelings so that we can control what we do with them. It is a beautiful thing to see a child with joyful feelings so openly expressed. Likewise, it is comforting to see an adult who feels— joy, love, tenderness, even negative emotions if they are directed constructively and lovingly. Again, we can't shut down the negatives without shutting down positive emotions. Perhaps you weren't permitted to grow emotionally. That was then. Now the goal is to feel comfortable with all emotions, identify them, and channel them constructively. |